Is it time for a dating coach?
Dating after divorce can suck.
Earlier this week I spoke with a gentleman who asked me to help him with his dating profile. He hadn’t had a lot of traction over the past year with the dating apps he’d downloaded. He knew he needed to improve his photos and profile, but he didn’t think he needed a dating coach.
Curiosity got the best of me, so I asked him, “So what do you think a dating coach does?”
He answered, “I guess something similar to Hitch? But maybe without the earpiece.”
He wasn’t far off, although I’ve yet to help a client navigate their date in real-time through a hidden earpiece. I’ve worked with dozens of men and women from different countries, cultures, economic statuses, ages, and more. Everyone had one thing in common. They knew something wasn’t working in their dating lives and reached out for clarity on what they could improve.
A book I recommend to clients talks about our notion of “fairy tale relationships”. If my divorce taught me anything it’s that no one was coming to save me. I had to do it myself.
Once you decide something needs to change only then can you ask for help.
Here are 3 signs that it’s time to work with a dating coach:
You’re unsure about modern dating
You’re having no luck with dating apps
Second or third dates are few and far between
#1: You’re unsure about modern dating
Whether it’s been 5 or 25 years since you last went on a first date, we can all agree that dating has changed. You might have questions like:
Is it still acceptable to pick up a woman from her house on a first date?
Should I just call them before texting?
What does it mean to “get ghosted”?
What is the dating “etiquette” when it comes to after-date communication?
Should I text them right after the date if I enjoyed myself?
How will I know when to go in for the first kiss?
How can I tell if my date is interested in me?
These are all questions that I’ve helped my clients navigate.
#2: You’re having no luck on the dating apps
I’ll let you in on a common mistake I see with online dating profiles - people do not create their dating profiles with the viewer in mind.
Because of this, men have fishing and gym photos while women have ultra-filtered selfies with duck lips.
When it comes to your online profile, you can always ask a close friend or family member for their opinion. However, you should only consider this if they’re close enough to you that they feel comfortable telling you the cold hard truth.
#3: Second or third dates are few and far between
It’s a fact in modern dating that some people do not get many second or third dates.
This is a sign that there’s a disconnect between the way you believe you’re presenting yourself and the way your date is perceiving you. Having an unbiased professional in your corner can mean the difference between this groundhog day version of dating and finding a meaningful connection.
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