5 Ways To Be Your Own Matchmaker
Picture this: it's the week after Thanksgiving and you’re attempting to buy all of your Christmas presents for your kids, friends, and family.
Then it hits you, you have a flashback to that gut-wrenching feeling you had at your family’s get-together last week. After everyone said hello, you were sipping your adult beverage, and right before you all sat down to eat you realized that you’re the only single adult there besides your crazy Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe’s claimed the title of perpetual bachelor, so it’s fine, but where do you fit in?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single.
In fact, if you have to choose between an unhappy relationship/marriage or being single I’d want you to pick the latter every damn day.
But how do you even do it? How do you make sure that your Memories notification on Facebook does not show you in the exact same place a year from now?
The answer — time, patience & persistence.
If you follow me on social media, you may have seen my video about the frustration of swiping through dating apps. I like to poke fun at the process because, without humor, things can be exhausting.
I transform divorced men and women’s dating lives from the nightmare they have to the ones they want. Long story short, I help make dating fun again.
I’m great at what I do as a matchmaker, but with my experience comes investment. For those who don’t have the funds, but DO have the time, energy, and PATIENCE you can be your own matchmaker. I'll tell you what others won't — you can absolutely do this yourself.
It’s similar to a personal trainer (or an accountability partner). If you can show up to the gym and work out by yourself, that’s great! But there are many individuals who don’t have the honest self-reflection it takes to recognize their previous dating issues or have the time and energy it takes to take on a second (or third) job — because that's what it can feel like.
Fun fact: the average dating app user spends around 80 minutes per day swiping (about 10 hours per week). You may not have even thought about it, but checking it a few minutes here and there throughout the day definitely adds up. Check your phone’s screen time usage to be sure. It might surprise you.
As with working out, these changes in our dating lives don’t happen overnight, nor do our habits miraculously change when January 1st hits, so start by making small sustainable changes today to make 2022 suck a little less!
Here are a few things you can do to be your own matchmaker:
Expand your search distance on the app. Add another 10+ miles (or more if you’re in a rural area). For the right person, who cares if it’s a little longer in the car?
Bump your age limits out (younger & older) by AT LEAST 2-3 years from what you have it. You wouldn’t stop talking to them at a bar if you met them because they were slightly younger or older than your preference, right?!
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Real talk - most men take terrible photos. Most women overuse filters, so you don’t know what they look like. So, how to find out what they really look like and not feel like you're wasting your time? Schedule a FaceTime. ✔️
Get new photos! (see holiday special) Not many people want to admit that their lack of dating options might very well be because of their photos. That being said, please consult with an expert, just because the photos are done by a professional, that does not mean your outfit or the angles are appropriate for your dating app. Quality, well-lit posed photos make a DRASTIC difference in the amount and caliber of matches you get online.
Put yourself in new situations. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. When we’re uncomfortable, it's a sign we are starting a growth process. This is your new chapter. Take a new class, go out with someone new, try a new hobby, volunteer, SMILE at a stranger, or go somewhere alone - take a mini-vacay or just sit at a bar by yourself.
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