Is vaccination status the new “who did you vote for”?
Welcome to PEAK DATING SEASON!
It happens like clockwork every January. Those who were actively dating are jumping back into the dating pool after a brief holiday break, while many new singles are on the market due to end-of-year divorces or breakups. New Years Resolutions are being made left and right, meaning your local gym is likely packed. This is the time of year when seasoned daters get ready for battle, knowing what to expect. But what about you — are you ready?
The typical January and early February dating frenzy has changed a lot in the past two years. We all know that dating is hard work, but if you're not prepared you could easily spend the next 30 days wasting a lot of time and effort.
What's Changed
I’d like to start off by saying that I have no medical degree, nor am I here to share or field opinions on the COVID vaccine. The same goes for politics. This article is simply a statement of social and dating trends that I’ve witnessed firsthand as I've helped my clients navigate finding their person during a global pandemic.
I'm not taking sides — just stating facts that will increase your dating success rate while reducing your frustration.
Whether singles like to admit it or not, most people carry around a list of deal-breakers they use to quickly figure out if someone is worth their time. Deal-breakers are a time-saving hack, often resembling a game of Mad Libs: "I only want to date a person who __________!" The blank can be filled with everything from body types to political ideologies to religion to sexual kinks.
Deal-breakers are often polarizing. Below are some of the ones I run into on a regular basis:
Political affiliation
Vaccines & mandates
Religion
Pro-choice vs. Pro-life
Legalization of Marijuana
Climate change
Immigration
A big part of my job is filtering through a client's deal-breakers by having “uncomfortable” conversations with potential dates.
So, is vaccine status a dealbreaker for you?
In some larger cities like Chicago, San Francisco, and New York it’s required that you show proof of vaccination (and sometimes proof of booster) to get into any establishment. This makes dating someone who is unvaccinated and/or dating as an unvaccinated person very difficult.
In the winter months, this makes first-date coordination even more challenging. Most singles — especially women — don’t feel comfortable (nor should they) going to someone’s home or having someone over to their home the first couple of times they meet.
What if someone has a "justifiable" reason for the lack of vaccination? Would that change your mind?
I know a woman who was adamantly against the vaccine and then weeks later changed her mind and would not go out with someone who hadn’t been vaccinated. I also know a man who, because of an immune system issue, couldn't get vaccinated yet refused a date with a woman in a similar medical situation.
There are many reasons people use to justify not dating someone who is unvaccinated — they can range from a strong ideological/political/religious opinion all the way to having an immunocompromised loved one in their life. Their connection with their loved ones far outweighs their dating life.
Is it possible to date someone with differing views?
Yes, I think so. But there are (of course) exceptions to every rule. So what’s the “special sauce” for making it work if you two aren’t aligned on a dealbreaker? As the great Aretha Franklin said, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! People are often far too quick to make snap judgments. Taking the time to understand someone else's perspective might be difficult, but it inevitably helps you grow as a person.
How do you evaluate if this person is “worth the risk” if they aren’t vaccinated and you are?
It's truly up to you.
Here’s the great thing about online dating. It takes away the awkwardness of asking things that you might not ask if you met for the first time face to face. If being vaccinated is an important factor for you and their profile doesn’t say it — you owe it to yourself and those you share proximity with to send the message. It's simple, just ask:
“Are you vaccinated btw?” ;)
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