How To Avoid An Online Romance Scam
“How could I have been so stupid? I thought they loved me.”
In 2021 alone, Americans reported losing $547 million dollars to romance scams, but the true number is likely higher. Shame and embarrassment stop victims from coming forward to authorities, or even telling friends or family.
Ironically, the victims of romance scams tend to be more educated than the general population. The stereotype that "only stupid people” fall for scams is undeniably untrue. Con-men, catfish, and scammers have been around for centuries, but dating and social media sites have made online romance scams easily accessible to anyone with an internet connection.
What is a catfish?
A catfish is someone who creates a fake or stolen identity online for the purpose of beginning a deceptive relationship with an unsuspecting person.
What is a romance scam?
A romance scam involves faking romantic intention towards a victim, gaining the victim’s affection, and then using that goodwill to get the victim to send money to the scammer under false pretenses or commit fraud against the victim,
Who do romance scammers/ catfish target?
While anyone can be the target of an online dating scam, individuals over 50 or those who have gotten divorced or lost a partner are at higher risk than most.
I recently had a consultation with a gentleman in his late 50s who was interested in working with matchmaker because he was tired of being scammed on dating apps. He’d lost around $10,000 to romance scammers online.
As a professional who runs clients’ dating profiles, I’m pretty good at spotting fake accounts. But scammers are getting better and better. In a previous article, I discussed ways of staying safe on a date, but what about staying safe before meeting for a first date? How can you make sure the person you’re talking to isn't a catfish? The truth is, sometimes you can’t, but you can be precautious and do your due diligence before.
Meet Chad Huber aka the CEO of Catfishing the Catfish on TikTok. Chad uses his platform to raise awareness of romance scammers one laugh at a time.
Here’s what Chad had to say:
You have over 177k followers on TikTok with your hilarious videos where you call out online romance scammers. What made you start your "catfishing catfish" account?
After my divorce, I was homesick for a week while my children left for Christmas. I messed with this scammer that contacted me through my boredom and loneliness, only sharing screenshots with my best friend. Eventually, I shared those texts on TikTok and a growing audience demanded more and more.
Do you know anyone who has been a victim of a romance scam?
I do not personally know anyone who has fallen victim to a romance scam, but through this, I’ve met hundreds who have DMed me.
Do you have any advice for someone who has fallen for an online romance scam?
For anyone who has fallen victim, I’d recommend being careful online in the future. It’s nearly impossible to recover any money you willingly gave away. Learn from your mistakes, better yourself, and spend money on yourself or real people in your life.
What are your top 4 signs to look out for to spot a catfish online?
The top signs I notice when spotting a catfish are:
Did she approach me, and is she way out of my league? If I saw her in real life, would it be absurd to assume she’d approach me?
The grammar and colloquialisms seem off.
She has deceased or sick parents. If it’s a male they’ll often be in the military.
They ask for money for any reason. Gift cards, CashApp, etc.”
Check out Chad'sTikTokorYoutubefor tons of spotting catfish and scammer advice, as well as hilarious content!
Here are a few more tips to protect yourself:
Keep an eye out on dating apps — romance scammers get away with using stolen photos by making them blurry enough so you can’t use reverse google search to identify the original photo.
Check out these safety tips!
Not all “catfish” accounts will be people who look like they’re celebrity attractive. Many romance scammers know that users will be suspicious if they use those photos, so they often choose photos of someone who isn’t a bombshell/stud, but is more conventionally attractive.
Signs to look out for:
The relationship moves quickly (ie. love-bombing, texting non-stop all day, etc).
They often live overseas or travel abroad for work (hence why they can't meet in person).
They try to move the conversation off the dating site quickly to Whatsapp, Hangouts, email, etc.
The photos of them on the app are too blurry to insert into the reverse google image search. It’s 2022, there’s absolutely no excuse to not have a photo that’s clear and distinguishable. It’s not “operator error” it’s deliberate.
They always have an excuse as to why they can’t video call (ie. broken camera on their phone/computer, bad wifi connection for prolonged periods of time, etc).
Asking for you to send them Itunes or Google play cards.
Final thoughts
The most important question is - should online scammers stop you from putting yourself out there? Absolutely not.
There are ways of being careful and still allowing a potential love interest in your life.
Unsure if you’re talking to a “catfish”? Email me their profile here.
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