How to ask “Where is this going?”
Embarking on a new relationship after a divorce can be exciting and nerve-wracking.
You've met someone special, gone on great dates, and even shared intimate moments. But amidst the bliss, a question lingers: where is this relationship heading?
While there's no one-size-fits-all approach to this conversation, here are some valuable insights to help you navigate this delicate territory if you're dating again after divorce. Ho
1. Be straightforward about what you want
When it comes to defining the direction of your relationship, honesty is key. Don't shy away from communicating your desires and expectations. It's essential to be upfront about what you're looking for in a relationship. Never feel ashamed for wanting something more serious than what your partner may be willing to give. Society may try to label assertiveness as demanding, but knowing and voicing your needs from the start is far better than investing time and emotions in someone who doesn't share your vision for the future. Remember - confidence is sexy, and stating your intentions can be refreshing and appealing to the RIGHT person.
2. Keep your emotions in check
While discussing your new relationship's trajectory, it's important to maintain a level-headed approach. You don't need to have an intense heart-to-heart conversation every time. If your partner gives indications of wanting to keep things casual, be matter-of-fact about it. For instance, you can calmly express, "I'm not really looking for a casual hookup. If that's what you're looking for that's fine, but I'd rather us be honest upfront." By articulating your expectations and standards without overwhelming them with emotions, you set a clear boundary.
3. Don't settle for ambiguity
Some singles may use phrases like "I'm just enjoying having fun with you" to keep things casual. While this doesn't make them a bad person, it's crucial to interpret their words accurately. Don't assume that "having fun" or similar clichés imply an imminent shift toward a committed relationship. Often, such statements indicate a desire to remain in a situationship. Be cautious and evaluate whether their intentions align with what you genuinely seek.
4. Set a time limit for commitment
If you sense that the relationship is stagnating and lacking the commitment you desire, set a personal time limit & stick to it. Communicate to your partner that you have goals and timelines in mind. By doing so in a non-pushy way, you convey that you won't wait indefinitely for them to make up their mind. This can prompt them to evaluate their feelings and motivations, potentially leading to a clearer direction for the relationship.
5. Respect their decision
Once the person you've been seeing reveals their intentions, you have to be willing to accept their decision. Trying to change their mind rarely leads to a positive outcome. Instead, demonstrate your willingness to move on if your goals don't align. Respect their perspective (and yours) and understand that you deserve someone who shares your desires and intentions. Finding mutual compatibility and establishing a relationship based on authenticity and shared goals is essential, especially while dating after divorce. Don't settle for "fine" after your divorce.
Remember - dating after divorce is an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and finding a love that aligns with your new chapter.
Embrace the journey, don't be afraid to ask for what you want, and trust that the right person will appreciate your honesty and share your desire for a meaningful future.
