How do I pick up a dead conversation on a dating app?
Have you ever been on a dating app and wondered how do I pick up this dead conversation from last week (or month)?
If you’re anything like the millions of men and women using dating apps today, you’ve probably started and stopped more conversations than you can count. Sometimes it’s because of us. We get too overwhelmed with life, or frankly so exhausted by the search for a companion, that we just stop responding.
Other times, it’s the other person not carrying on the conversation.
Then have thought, why did they respond right away for a few messages then wait 3 DAYS to say anything? It can be well…fucking annoying.
Regardless - we’ve all been there.
A typical dating app chat:
You connect with someone online.
So far you know that at the very least you’re both attracted to each other.
You start up a conversation and find them to be funny and just sarcastic enough to be flirty, not rude.
You chat for a couple of days, messaging a few times a day and then … radio silence.
You might try them again with a “Hey. How’s your week going?”
Again, you get nothing.
So what should you do? Should you chalk it up to the land of the lost dating connections (similar to the land of the misfit toys)? Or should you give it one more shot?
I’m team one more shot, because what’s the worst thing that could happen? Worst case scenario you’re right where you are now. At least with action, you can remove the “what if” factor.
That’s the mindset that you need in this next single chapter. Restarting a conversation on a dating app is not desperate. In fact, it will most likely be met with an encouraging response - you did match with them, after all.
What’s a good amount of time to wait for someone to respond?
If they haven’t responded to your app or text message in 48 hours, they’re most likely not going to. This is a grace period for full-time working parents. For singles, I usually say 24 hours.
How long is too long to wait to message someone after a dating app conversation has fizzled out?
I’ve seen clients have success with conversations that have been dead for months.
What should I say to reignite the conversation?
Here are some fun ways to restart a dead conversation on a dating app:
1.I need to ask you a serious question…
“Is it okay to wear socks to bed?”
“Are pigeons just flying rats?”
“Which was better Sex and the City or Friends?”
“Do you really think Carol Baskins killed her first husband?”
“How do you feel about Dad jokes?” (have a joke for the follow-up)
2. “True or false…”
“Winter is the best season.”
“The Office was better than Friends.”
“The Goonies was overrated.”
“The Eagles suck.” (Keep it local to your area.)
“Thanksgiving is better than Christmas.”
3. The straightforward approach:
“Hey (insert name). It’s been a while. I’d love to grab a coffee or a drink next week if you’re free.”
“Hey there! Sorry I wasn’t around for a bit. I’d still love to get to know more about you. Are you open for a Facetime chat this week? ;)”
What if they don’t respond, should I try for a 3rd time?
No. I don’t believe in chasing people. That goes for women and men. More than two texts or dating app messages with no response from the other person shows that they’re not available, whether that be emotionally, psychologically, or physically.
After two messages with no response (and a day or so for them to respond) either unmatch them or say, “I hope you find what you’re looking for! Best of luck. :)”.
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