Welcome to dating after 50!

Now, I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that this is not exactly what you planned on doing in this stage of your life. Maybe you pictured yourself waking up every morning to that person you married 25 years ago with love still dancing in your eyes. After all, when people get married, they hope to be with that same person for the rest of their lives.

But enough with the doom and gloom! I encourage my clients (and you!) to adopt another perspective. Science has proven that we are happier in our 50’s. Let’s look at this instead as an amazing opportunity - you’re lucky to be in the right place at the right time.

If you’re reading this article there’s a good chance that you’ve taken the proper time to heal from your divorce, and are ready to join the dating game again. Let’s quickly stop and celebrate this! While you might be nervous, the only real challenge is getting comfortable with what dating looks like in the age of the Internet. I’ve created this list of key dating tips for men and women 50 years and older to give them the confidence to get back out there.

Put Yourself Out There

I've said it before, and I will say it again - don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and put yourself out there. The only way you are going to truly find someone is by being willing to let your guard down a little bit. Keep in mind that this does not mean you have to lose your freedom or independence in the process.

Part of getting back out there successfully is carefully setting your boundaries and expectations. Strong boundaries help set the tone for good relationships filled with high self-esteem and mutual respect. Establishing our boundaries allows us to go into future relationships with a reaffirmed sense of self. If you’re looking for help with this step, signup for my newsletter to receive my free interactive Reflection Journal. It will guide you through every step of this process.

Deeply connecting with another person requires vulnerability, and that means taking a brick or two off of your emotional wall. Vulnerability will help you stand out from the crowd in the modern dating app “swipe culture”. So, be honest, be authentic, be yourself.

Be Honest and Transparent When Online Dating

Did you know that the 50+ age group is the fastest-growing demographic on Match.com? This means that there are more 50+ singles dating out there than ever before, which means more potential matches for you. Even if you don't choose to go with Match.com for your online dating adventure, make sure that your dating app profile is completely honest, transparent, and authentic.

This is not the time to lie about anything (especially your age). Remember that your goal is to connect with someone who is genuinely interested in who you TRULY are as a person. For this to happen, make sure to upload more recent photos of yourself, be clear on what your expectations are, be responsive, and show enthusiasm about meeting. Being consistently consistent about these things will help you attract and filter genuine matches, saving you precious time and emotional energy.

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby!

There’s nothing much more exciting than meeting someone else, feeling those butterflies, then deciding you’d like to take the next step. However, being 50+ may cause some anxiety and fear due to age-related performance issues. But no worries! We live in a very improved world filled with medical advancements, all of which can help you enjoy yourself and really bond at a deeper level. I also encourage my clients of ALL ages to be overly communicative when getting physical for the first (or second, or third…) time.

For Men…Erectile dysfunction is not anything that you should feel ashamed about. It’s a very, very common part of the aging process. Luckily, there are many ways around it, such as speaking with your doctor about medications and making it a habit to do pelvic floor exercises. Along with this, be mindful of your diet because eating healthy is another great way to slow down symptoms. Also, don’t be afraid to mention this to your partner. Remember that good sex after 50 requires vulnerability, communication, and lots of honesty!

For Women…The age of 50 is prime time when we women begin experiencing hot flashes and hormone shifts that can leave us feeling a bit, well, dry sometimes. Thankfully there are tons of lubricants you can keep on hand for those intimate moments. As for hot flashes, make sure to speak to your doctor about any potential medications to help ease the discomfort. Also consider the fast-acting remedies such as dressing lighter, avoiding eating spicy foods, and not consuming alcohol, as these can all help you feel much more balanced.

Take on A New Hobby

Remember my earlier suggestion to “put yourself out there”? This means being open to trying new things that you wouldn't normally do so you can meet people who you wouldn't normally meet. Actively pursue activities that you have never done before, like a paint and sip class, or maybe join a club or try a new hobby that interests you. Whatever it is, go into it with an open mind and use the experience as a way to self-develop and grow as a person.

Because never forget, even an old dog can learn new tricks, and if you happen to find love along the way, then that is an added bonus!

It’s All Fun and Games Until...Just Kidding. It Really Is All About That!

This is another point where I may sound like a broken record, but there is no point in dating and meeting other people if you are not going to have fun doing it!

Modern dating requires spending significant amounts of time navigating often confusing dating apps of all shapes and sizes. It’s easy for this to go from something fun and interesting to something that feels more like a grind. This is actually one of the big reasons why it makes a lot of sense to outsource the work of managing your dating apps, and the matches, and the conversations, and getting phone numbers, to someone like yours truly. Make dating work for you - not the other way around!

Dating at any age should be a process that you enjoy doing. It should help you meet new people and build meaningful connections. In a nutshell, go on a date with the purest intention of having fun. Even if the date itself does not work out, make it an experience that you can look back and smile on, because you only live once!

Final Thoughts - Never Too Old for Love

I know that the thought of starting over again with the whole dating scene can feel downright daunting, especially when you are middle-aged or older. Maybe you have less hair, more wrinkles, and that once youthful spark has been replaced with wry wit, wisdom, and experience. But the thing to remember here is that no matter what age you are, you are never too old for love.

You have my permission to punch anyone that says otherwise.

You - just like everyone else on this planet - deserve to find love and companionship. But you must carry yourself with confidence to standout in this age of dating apps. You must be open and honest and authentic. Because that’s what people really want. Recognize that you have so much to offer in a relationship, and understand that regardless of age, there is someone out there looking for exactly what you have.

In the end, you are not the only 50+ single out there, and if you genuinely want to find the perfect person for you, there is no better time than now to do it.