Ever wish you had a “first date survival kit?” 

Most of the time we realize something we SHOULDN’T have said AFTER we say it on a first date. Nerves will do that to you. Instead of fighting off word vomit, fall back on our list of what NOT to discuss on your next first date. 

Here are the 5 things you should never talk about on your next first date.

1. Your Ex

It's a good idea to avoid any mention of an ex on a first date. You’re not trying to hide anything, but you just don’t want to risk giving the wrong impression by either being too direct or remaining vague either. 

If you're asked about previous relationships, be straightforward – but don't elaborate. Share the facts but nothing more. If they ask about why you broke up or divorced, just say that it didn't work out or that you two just grew apart.

Helpful tip - if you’re telling a story and it happens to be with an ex, just refer to them as “my friend.” There’s no need to divulge nitty-gritty details when you’re first meeting someone. 

2. Your Financial Situation

Money can be a difficult topic for many people, and often the person who brings up the topic of money on the date may come off as rude or insensitive. Nothing ruins a budding romance more than bringing up student loan debt, medical bills, or credit cards. 

While finances are a huge part of a couple’s life, they’re not something to discuss when you’re first getting to know a person. If you start seeing someone on a more regular basis there are ways of asking questions about where they stand financially without being too nosey. But that comes later. For now, fight the urge to ask for their credit score and just enjoy the date.

3. Politics and Religion

There’s nothing better than a dinner with your extended family where everyone shares their frank and explicit opinions on politics and religion, SAID NO ONE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME. This one is simple, don’t talk about religion and politics on a first date. If it’s a dealbreaker for you, you can always put it on your dating profile. 

Focus on getting to know someone’s core values as opposed to their political and religious beliefs. If you find out that your date has different core values than yours, it may be wise to steer clear of them and not pursue any romantic relationships. Not sure what your core values are? Download our free reflection journal to get some help figuring them out!

4. How Terrible the Waiter Is

It may seem harmless to gripe about a waiter, but it can have consequences on a first date. When we talk about how terrible the food is, the service is, or anything else, we're implicitly sending the message to our date that we’re not enjoying ourselves. 

Talk to your date about anything BUT the food or drinks. It may be an easy way to break the ice, but it can also put your date in a bad mood, and you don't want that. Keep conversation light about other topics.

Lastly, the waiter is just doing their job and they don't deserve any negativity directed towards them for doing well on their job. If the service is comedically terrible, feel free to joke about it on date three!

5. How Tired You Are 

This is a shout-out to a friend in Chicago. She forwarded me a conversation where she confirmed her date details with a guy and he texted back. “Yes. I’m exhausted, but I’ll be there.”

If you take away just one thing from thisarticle, let it be this. One of the worst things you can do on a date is to talk about how exhausted you are. Here’s why.

You just set the tone of disappointment. 

Think about the last time you were completely exhausted. Let your mind wander back to this really exhausting day, and then try to think about your interactions with other people that day.

What do you remember? Did you tell anyone how tired and drained you were? What would they be thinking if they knew how exhausted you were? Would they still want to be around you? 

I doubt it.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? We let people know when we’re not feeling well because we don't want them around us when we're sick, right? 

If you’re tired or any other negative energy other than optimistic -  leave that shit at home. Emotions are easily picked up on and when you talk about your horrible day at work, your boss sucks, whatever, it brings that negativity into your next interaction. If you lead with that type of energy your date will pick up on your negativity and begin to feel upset as well. If you lead with negativity -  you can kiss a chance at a second date goodbye.

Final Thoughts

If you’re unsure about if a topic is okay on a first date, do the “billboard test”. What’s the billboard test?

Would you be comfortable putting your statement up on a billboard with your photo next to it? If yes, then you can say it on a first date. If not, well, you’re playing with fire.